10.   Troll the internet for good garden photos. The internet is bottomless pit of garden porn. Most of it is free.

9.     Order tons of seed catalogues and/or buy garden magazines. Drool over the pictures. If it doesn’t satisfy your need…move down the list.

8.     Visit boutique garden centers that stay open over the winter. Flowers and foliage will send you into green ecstasy.

7.     Germinate radishes/grass seeds. Within a couple of days the shoots will sprout out all green and verdant. Stroke the leaves daily.

6.     Take a tour round your local public conservatory. It’s a full scale experience: Lush plants, warm humid air, chirping birds.

5.     Grow an amaryllis. It will take two weeks to see any noticeable green and 1 to 1 ½ months before the gorgeous flower unfurls its petals. No, I won’t say paperwhites. I won’t inflict the stinky smell on anyone, winter or no winter.

4.     Cheat. Go out there and buy pots of cyclamens, orchids or azaleas that wink their seductive petals at you every time you walk into the supermarket.

3.     Run up your credit card: buy lots of cut flowers every week. If you budget can’t take it, wait until the florist discounts the bouquets. Pick out the dead flowers.

2.     Go to a garden show! Many of the garden shows start at the end of February and continue on until June. Hang out in the garden vignettes. Pretend it’s your garden.

1.     The ultimate green getaway. Persuade your family that they really need to go on a tropical holiday. Or if you have the resources of Richard Branson, buy a tropical island…